How To Borrow Money And Not Have To Pay It Back

There’s a quote. ‘If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem’.

Because you can probably find the money to pay a hundred bucks back right? But where the hell would you get one hundred million of them?!

You wouldn’t. You’d have to declare bankruptcy. If you declare bankruptcy then you’re essentially writing off your debts.

So if you’re in financial trouble, but don’t want to wind up paying back a shit tonne of interest. Here’s our step by step guide to owing $100 million dollars.

Step 1: Google ‘loan company near me’ and find somewhere that will lend you money without proof that you can pay it back. Heres where I found a place:

This will be easy. The exploitation of desperate people in need of urgent cash is big business.

Step 2: Apply for the biggest loan, with the highest interest rate you can.

Step 3: Wait for approval. This should happen immediately. After all, the screening process is literally non-existent. These companies are all about giving literally anyone who asks, all the money they want in as little time as possible. Convenient!

Step 4: Take the money.

Step 5: Make sure that when the loan is due to be repaid, your accounts are empty.

Step 6: Do your best impression of an ostrich and bury your head in the sand so that the debt collectors don’t beat you down.

Step 7: Just sit back and watch your debt climb.

Because most payday loan companies charge extortionate interest rates of up to 6000% APR, even a  loan of just $100 becomes $6000 after a year. Just think how much debt you can achieve with a loan of $1000.

And because companies don’t check your financial standing before issuing a loan. You can just head over to the next nearest lender to take out more money to speed the process up if you wish. The possibilities for debt are almost endless.

You’ll be declaring bankruptcy before you know it. Congrats, you’re now debt-free.